I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No." She answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

Yes." She replied.

Then I said, " I'd like to phone a friend."

That's the last thing I remember.

thanks Cindy

100 Dollar Bill practically invented the term "research and development". What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-macro-strategically"? We understand that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also engineer intuitively. The branding factor is granular. We will maximize our power to actualize without decreasing our capacity to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy structuring and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "users" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capacity to optimize. Think real-world. Think leading-edge.

Find your own Gibberish at Corporate Gibberish Generator™

This is fun
"D"

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.

When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"
She replied: "A can of peaches".

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied "6".

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

He said, " What is it? "

The husband said "She also stole a large can of peas."

Thanks Cindy

Postal worker was sorting mail a week before Christmas when he came across a letter addressed to God. Since it would be de-stroyed he decided to open the letter and read it.

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely,
Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went. A few days later,another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened, It read.

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.


By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those
thieving bastards at the Post Office.

Thanks Cindy

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"D"

January is a good time to clean-up your computer and back-up important files. One easy but important item to back-up periodically is your browser's "Favorites" (when using Internet Explorer) or "Bookmarks" (when using Firefox, Safari, or Netscape). Here's how to export and save these files:

Exporting Favorites From Your Internet Explorer 6.0 Browser When Using Windows XP Home Edition

1. With Internet Explorer open, click your cursor arrow on the "File" menu and drop down to "Import and Export." The Import/Export Wizard will start.
2. Click on the "Next" button.
3. Choose "Export Favorites" from the list of actions to perform and click "Next."
4. Select the "Favorites" folder for exporting and click "Next."
5. Choose a destination for your exported favorites by clicking on the "Browse" button. Give the exported favorites file a name and select a destination for it.
6. Click the "Save" button and then click on the "Next" button.
7. Now click on the "Finish" button.

Exporting Bookmarks From Your Firefox 1.0 Browser When Using Windows XP Home Edition Or Macintosh OS X

1. With Firefox open, click your cursor arrow on the Bookmarks menu and drop down to "Manage Bookmarks." The "Bookmarks Manager" window will appear.
2. Click your cursor arrow on the "File" menu and drop down to "Export." The "Export bookmark file:" dialog box will appear.
3. Give your file a name and select a destination for it.
4. Click the "Save" button. Close the "Bookmarks Manager" window.

Exporting Bookmarks From Your Safari 2.0 Browser When Using Mac OS X

1. With Safari open, click your cursor arrow on the "File" menu and drop down to "Export Bookmarks." The "Export Bookmarks" dialog box will appear.
2. Give your file a name and select a destination for it.
3. Click the "Save" button.

Exporting Favorites From Your Netscape 7.2 Browser When Using Windows XP Home Edition Or Macintosh OS X

1. With Netscape Navigator open, click your cursor arrow on the "Bookmarks" menu and drop down to "Manage Bookmarks." The "Bookmark Manager" window will appear.
2. Click on the "Tools" menu and drop down to "Export..." The "Export Bookmark File" dialog box will appear.
3. Give your file a name and select a destination for it.
4. Click the "Save" button and then close the "Bookmark Manager" window.