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100 Dollar Bill

Whatever might pique my interest

NON Widget Opinion

Saturday, June 30, 2007

This has to be Asian SPAM run through a translator if I am not mistaken.

Dear Sir or Madam:
Sorry to take your precious time.
We are an Electronic Commodity Global Trade Company, our commodity for example: tv, notebooks, phones, psp, projectors, dvd, mp3/4, GPS,musical instruments ....
After many year experimental investigation, our commodity is outstanding, and the price is lower .As well as we have established the VIP member. If you order the massive goods, the price must be cheaper. Adapt The seller wholesale and Personal order .If you intested in, please land our website and contact with us.
Our website is: http://www.nyqbw.com
MSN/EMAIL: nyqbw@hotmail.com
skype : nyqbw1
ICQ : 396737552
I hope we will cooperate happy. Good luck for you!

"I hope we will cooperate happy"

Come on...Who talks like this?
posted by Editor, 3:17 PM | link | 0 comments |

The 90-Year-Old Man

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A 90-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 90-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 23-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a moment and then began. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off to go hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he would not be able to shoot the magnificent creature but, out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it was his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "If you ask me , I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly".
posted by Editor, 8:20 AM | link | 0 comments |


Sunday, June 17, 2007

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, "No dear, both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat, saying "Well, we're not having any of that " Brokeback Mountain" shit in our garden.
posted by Editor, 5:30 PM | link | 0 comments |

Attorneys Rule ....

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Lawyer and His Porsche

A very successful personal injury attorney parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off his driver's door. Fortunately, an officer in a police car was close enough to see it happen and pulled up behind the accident, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which just came out of the showroom yesterday, was now completely ruined and would never be the same. No matter how hard any body shop tried to make it new again . . . he moaned that it was going to be a lost cause! He continued hollering for almost 15 minutes.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in your life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck sideswiped you!!!"

"HOLY SHIT!" screamed the lawyer.

"MY ROLEX!" ....
posted by Editor, 7:51 PM | link | 0 comments |

Sunday Morning Sex!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Sunday Morning Sex!

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie
went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old
grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had
died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were
making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old
having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our
advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church
bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and
slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on
the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if
the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
posted by Editor, 12:31 PM | link | 0 comments |