USPS vs UPS
Sunday, April 22, 2007
The USPS and UPS decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the UPS team won by a mile.
The USPS, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the UPS team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering. The USPS team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
So USPS management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. The consultants advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to UPS, the USPS rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 Steering supervisors, 3 Area Steering Superintendents and 1 Assistant Superintendent Steering Manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the, "Voice of the Employee Program," with meetings and dinners for the Management Team and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses for the Management Team. In the end, the only thing that was implemented was the bonuses for the Management Team. The next year the UPS team won by two miles!
Humiliated, USPS management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Management Team as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
The USPS, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the UPS team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering. The USPS team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
So USPS management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. The consultants advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to UPS, the USPS rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 Steering supervisors, 3 Area Steering Superintendents and 1 Assistant Superintendent Steering Manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the, "Voice of the Employee Program," with meetings and dinners for the Management Team and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses for the Management Team. In the end, the only thing that was implemented was the bonuses for the Management Team. The next year the UPS team won by two miles!
Humiliated, USPS management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Management Team as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
2 Comments:
As a Rural Mail Carrier, this is far too close to truth to be funny.
commented by 
Anonymous, 3:35 AM
Anonymous, 3:35 AM
unfortunately I have also dealt with companies that operate in a similar manner.
Why are greedy idiots always put in charge?
Why are greedy idiots always put in charge?
