100 Dollar Bill

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to
open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins
and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his
clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around
the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is
the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on
the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go
shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast
and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, barfed in the hallway, and gave yourself a black
eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean,
and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone,
I'm married!"

a self-induced hangover - $100.00
broken furniture - $200.00
breakfast - $10.00
saying the right thing - priceless

About two years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I noticed that all the staff, ship officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back. As we left the dining room one evening, I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises." She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess cruise ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 a day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week.)

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste, razors, soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days.

7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship, they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS. And don't forget, when you die,
they just dump you over the side at no charge!

Ole and Sven are neighbors in Minnesota. Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Wisconsin He drives over to Wisconsin, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. Ole is very surprised, looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, and reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out, however, so after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow anyway and take it home.

He calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Come here and look at dis new cow I just bought. Pull her teat, and see what happens."
Sven reaches under and pulls; the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought this cow in Wisconsin, yah?"

Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dats right, how did you know?"

Sven says, "My wife is from Wisconsin."

by: Asish Jain
Reseller Defined:

The term Reseller according to the dictionary means to sell again i.e. to sell a product or service to the public or to an end user, especially as an authorized dealer, while making sure that you make a profit on the sale.

Reseller Hosting

Reseller hosting is no different either, a reseller buys a Web hosting package from a hosting company and tries to sell it independently. The profit for the reseller lies in either the discount or in the commission s/he gets from selling an account.

For example: The reseller might purchase a package whose features are valued at $100 for $90. So, the reseller stands to make a $10 profit on selling the package to customers. Normally as the customers increase, so does the profit margin for the reseller.

Or, you can get some money by earning commissions from a hosting company. This happens when you refer potential customers to the hosting company. If the customer signs up with the company then you earn a small recurring commission until the customer uses the services.

Most web hosting companies try to outsource their services to resellers as it helps them to extend their business reach without the cost of marketing and sales and also helps them to concentrate on the business side of things.

What can be resold

As a reseller you can decide what kinds of services you can sell.

You can provide shared, dedicated or co-location web hosting or merchant accounts, store fronts etc.

If you go with hosting then it might be useful to offer some other hosting related services like...

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To: ebay Ebay sellers are very concerned about the recent fee increase. Of course as ebay grows, it is understandable that the fee structure will increase. But sellers are questioning the amount of increase, mainly the gallery fee (from 0.25 to 0.35) and the final value fee (from 5.25% to 8%).

Many sellers are making little profit as is. Ebay is clearly discouraging the smaller sellers, however don't all sellers have to start out somehow? Sellers are saying that they will have to close their ebay store due to the subscription increase, or increase their prices to offset the fees. Many people want to leave ebay entirely.

The long term of the increase of the fee structure are:
a) Smaller sellers will stop selling on ebay and try to sell somewhere else online. They will never have the chance to expand themselves on ebay.

b) Larger sellers may consider starting their own...

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Article from Friend

How can a web browser save you time and money?

Security. For starters, a secure browser, like Firefox, keeps out the spyware/malware. This alone frees up untold hours each month that would be spent removing these invasive programs. They are also responsible for huge computer slow-downs. (Time = Money)

Spyware/malware infestation may get to a point where you need to get help from a professional or worse have to purchace a new computer. This is not something most people look forward to. (Professionals are not cheap!)

Firefox is easy. And it's actually fun to use. Multiple tabs, favorite/customizable search bar (without having to add a toolbar program) Theme's and tons of optional customizations through extensions.

Pop-up-blocker (built in) ...need I say more?

Try it, you may find you love it and wonder why you have waited till now to do it.
and if you do like it, you find it enjoyable, you find yourself talking to friends about it, send a donation to keep Firefox on the right track.

"D"

Have you been dreaming of a new digital camera, but held back from buying because of the hefty price tag that might accompany your purchase? Worry no longer--it's time to wake up and get to the store. The quality of digital cameras has shot up in the last year, and prices have plummeted.Today, the price of a 5- or 6-megapixel point-and-shoot digital camera has dropped below what a 4-megapixel camera was selling for less than a year ago. Take the Sony Cyber-shot DSC-P150, for example. When it debuted, this 7-megapixel model sold for $500. Today, you can find it at some online retailers for $369--a price drop of 26 percent.

What should you expect to spend for a digital camera? How low can you go?

"$200 to $300 is a sweet spot for the mass market," says Michelle Slaughter, director of digital photography trends at InfoTrends. "In this price range, consumers can obtain a good point-and-shoot digital camera with an image resolution of up to 5 megapixels and a 3X optical zoom lens."

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REPLACING our income and Social Security tax systems with a consumption tax FairTax, the best supported bill in this election cycle, depends not on whom is in the White House but on American taxpayers of all strata expressing their ire to elected servants.

Women did not win the right to vote through quiet parlor discussions alone; they also marched in the streets. Unions did not achieve collective bargaining until they sat down and shut down manufacturing plants. Blacks took their seats at the front of the bus and at the lunch counter, and then took to the streets. These grassroots successes set the example for how we replace our fatally flawed income and payroll tax systems. As for a rate comparable to income/payroll taxes, delivering the same revenue raised today, an organization I support (FairTax.org) quotes 23 percent. This rate is generally confirmed by many of the leading public finance economists in the country: Dale Jorgenson, Harvard (22.9 percent ); Jim Poterba, MIT (23.1 percent ); Laurence Kotlikoff, Boston University (24 percent); and rates from 22.3 to 24 percent from Stanford University, The Heritage Foundation, The Cato Institute, and Fiscal Associates.

Under the FairTax, effective tax rates go down for the middle class. Their paychecks come to them complete, with no federal withholding of any kind. Their paychecks are no longer minus the regressive Social Security tax, which is even more painful to working poor.

Gone would be the dooms-day threat of huge payroll tax increases to fund much needed Social Security reform. Under the FairTax, no American pays a dime of tax, hidden or obvious, on the necessities of life up to the poverty level. Individuals keep no records, file no returns, and suffer no audits.

Financial institutions are no longer required to perform taxpayer surveillance operations. Under the FairTax, individual American taxpayers become invisible to the federal tax collector, as do their families, churches, and businesses.

A net tax increase or tax decrease? This will be up to the individual. How much tax they do pay is entirely based on how they choose to live their lives.

The FairTax is progressive, substantially lowering rates for lowest-spending Americans when compared to the current system, keeping them low through the critical lower-middle class range, and approaching the maximum, effective tax rates only for our biggest-spending wealthy. For a chart demonstrating this progressivity, use this link: www.fairtax.org/imag es/taxrates.jpg

As to evasion, we are Americans, we hate taxes, and we have ingenuity to spare. We will cheat very successfully. However, with a 90-percent reduction in points of surveillance, record keeping, filing, compliance, and enforcement, when compared to the income tax system, the FairTax makes enforcement a relatively easy task.

Not to impugn the hard and successful work of the current state sales tax organizations, which have the option to collect the new federal tax. Their compliance statistics are much better today than the IRS's. To aid these organizations further, a common federal base simplifies their collection of sales taxes incurred by Internet or catalog sales. And with some 90 percent of sales taxes collected by less than 10 percent of retailers, do you really think Cindy Consumer is going to charm Charlie Cashier at Wal-Mart into collusion to violate federal tax laws?

Imported goods pay the tax, so there is no advantage of cross- border transactions for law- abiding citizens, though the FairTax is no violation of our current trade treaties.

Finally, I've not touched on the job creation, financial services, charitable giving, and residential real estate boom, and robust, deficit-shrinking economy economists say the FairTax engenders. We in the grassroots certainly do need to drive our elected servants onto the FairTax legislation.

Newport Beach resident Peter Uberroth in 1984 was president of the Los Angeles U.S. Olympic Organizing Committee and and was named Times Man of the Year. He was also a major league baseball commissioner and a former candidate for governor of California. Visit the FairTax Web site at FairTax.org.

By Peter Ueberroth